Pilfer Academy: A School So Bad It’s Criminal

George Beckett is a natural-born thief, or at least, that’s what the teachers at Pilfer Academy think. 

When a mysterious individual recognizes George’s talent for sneaking around unnoticed and taking things he shouldn’t, he is kidnapped and brought to the mysterious and captivating Pilfer Academy. At Pilfer Academy everything, including the students, has been stolen.

At first, George is excited to have the opportunity to escape his family and play with thief gadgets. However, he soon realizes that applying the lessons he learns at Pilfer Academy to real-life situations is a lot harder than he imagined. George doubts his abilities and wonders if he can keep up with the other students. Despite his doubts, George dives right in and works to become one of the best thieves to attend Pilfer Academy. Along the way, he makes new friends and discovers that there’s more to being a thief than just stealing things. George also learns the importance of loyalty and making difficult moral decisions.

Dean Dean Deanbugle, the goofy antagonist that runs Pilfer Academy, views George as a prospective top pupil. He has a unique way of grooming his students, using praise and rewards to encourage them to engage in mischief and thievery. While George is initially enthralled by the new way of life, the pressure to adjust to the school’s expectations becomes overwhelming. His peers become jealous of the favoritism Deanbugle shows George, creating tension and conflict in the classroom.

As George becomes more involved in the school’s culture, he begins to question the morality of his actions. Is it right to steal from others, even if an adult tells you to? He wrestles with these ethical dilemmas as he navigates his way through Pilfer Academy, trying to balance the desire to impress his teachers with his own sense of right and wrong.

Despite his misgivings, George continues to thrive in the school’s environment. He becomes more skilled at thievery and mischief, earning high marks from his teachers and the admiration of his classmates. However, as the stakes get higher and the tasks more dangerous, he begins to wonder if the price of success is worth the cost. Will he continue to follow Deanbugle’s lead, or will he find the courage to forge his own path? This all comes to a head when he is forced to steal a teddy bear from a baby for his midterm grade. The depravity of the task is enough to tell George all he needs to know about his future at Pilfer Academy. 

Pilfer Academy: A School So Bad It’s Criminal is perfect for middle-grade readers who enjoy adventure, mystery, and humor. The world-building is creative and unique, and the characters are well-developed and relatable. One primary example of this is Tabitha Crawford, George’s partner in crime. Tabitha is intelligent, sweet, and honest. Her humility and loyalty towards George make her a loveable sidekick, but Magaziner does a beautiful job of including her flaws as a friend as well. This makes the friendship between George and Tabitha highly relatable. Pilfer Academy is a fun and entertaining read with has a positive message about the importance of doing the right thing, even when it’s difficult. Additionally, the plot is engaging and will keep readers hooked from the first page to the last.

In summary, Pilfer Academy: A School So Bad It’s Criminal is an excellent book for young readers who enjoy a thrilling adventure with a positive message. The story follows a young protagonist as he navigates an unexpected kidnapping, a school full of criminals, discovering what a true friend really is and where the lines are drawn morally. It teaches readers that friendship is about trusting and supporting someone else and that it is okay to have disagreements sometimes. It also covers the topic of when it is okay to question an authoritative figure and what is morally right or wrong. These themes are presented in a palatable and humorous way that will have readers hooked on every page.

Sexual Content 

• When touring Pilfer, George is brought through many exhibits including “big ones and small ones, portraying Greek gods and naked people and cupid babies. One even squirted yellow liquid out of its mouth, which George thought looked positively disgusting.”

Violence 

• One of the opening scenes displays George being stolen from outside his home when he attempts to buy ice cream from a van. George “screamed and tried to bite [the kidnapper], but the netting was small and thick, and George ended up with a mouthful of mesh . . . The woman fastened him down with some heavy-duty duct tape. . . George pushed her—she tumbled back and hit the wall of the truck.” The kidnappers drape George in a net and secure him with duct tape which holds him for several hours.

• Students repeatedly exhibit bullying behaviors. Pilfer doesn’t just accept bad behavior but encourages some of these interactions between students. This causes a lot of fights and antics to occur amongst classmates. “But the class would have been a lot better if he didn’t feel like he was being hazed by Milo and his friends.” These incidents of “hazing” include George’s roommate, Milo, stealing his bedding, sabotaging his class assignments, and convincing the Dean that George should be sent to the whirlyberg.
• There are many instances when the “whirlyberg” is brought up. It is a broken-down carousel the Dean uses as a torture device when students are not listening. “I’m going to take these children down to the whirlyblerg for ETERNITY.” Deanbugle tells this to the staff after finding George and Tabitha attempting to escape Pilfer. 
• Trying to escape, George and Tabitha encounter a set of lasers. “ZZzzzzzzzt!!! came the sound from across the room. ‘What’s that?’ George shouted. He was stuck between three lasers and couldn’t see her. ‘Tabitha! Did you get hit?’” Tabitha is okay, but her hair is burnt by the lasers. They continue to move because they know their options are to escape and get help or spend eternity in the whirlyberg.
• The rightful owner of the mansion that Pilfer Academy resides in comes to try to airlift it off the ground. He needs it to be airlifted is because the rightful owner of the mansion is the Duke Valois of France, the sworn enemy of Dean Dean Deanbugle. “There came sounds of glass shattering and students screaming. A wave of lemonade from the fountain in the foyer spilled over and drenched a bunch of third years, who ran into the hall, shrieking.” The mansion is successfully airlifted off the ground with a majority of students and teaching staff having jumped out of the building. George, Tabitha, and the rest of the staff are carried all the way to France where they are greeted by the Duke.
• When Deanbugle is close to being captured by the Duke, he shouts and jumps out the window. “Then he began to kick his legs and throw the biggest temper tantrum George had ever seen. His wails echoed into the night sky. He beat his fists and pulled at his eyebrows. He sneezed onto his sleeve. He punched the living stuffing out of a scarecrow. He ran around like a rabid dog, cursing the day that George and Tabitha had been born and vowing for revenge.” He is apprehended by police cars while throwing his temper tantrum.

Drugs and Alcohol 

• None

Language 

• Browbeat is a teacher who utilizes goofy acronyms to teach her lessons, but one acronym creates the curse word “piss.”  “Browbeat lectured for an hour and fifteen minutes on the basic principles of stealthiness, which he called the P-I-S-S method: Patience, Imperturbability, Silence, and Surprise.”

Supernatural

• None

Spiritual Content 

• None