I Hope This Doesn’t Find You

Sadie Wen is perfect on paper: school captain, valedictorian, and a “pleasure to have in class.” It’s not easy, but she has a trick to keep her model-student smile plastered on her face at all times: she channels all her frustrations into her email drafts. She’d never send them of course — she’d rather die than hurt anyone’s feelings — but it’s a relief to let loose on her power-hungry English teacher or a freeloading classmate taking credit for Sadie’s work. 

All her most vehemently worded emails are directed at her infuriating co-captain, Julius Gong, whose arrogance and competitive streak have irked Sadie since they were kids. “You’re attention starved and self-obsessed and unbearably vain . . . I really hope your comb breaks and you run out of whatever expensive hair products you’ve been using to make your hair appear deceptively soft . . .” Sadie doesn’t have to hold back in her emails, because nobody will ever read them . . . that is, until they’re accidentally sent out. 

Overnight, Sadie’s carefully crafted, conflict-free life is turned upside down. It’s her worst nightmare — now everyone at school knows what she really thinks of them, and they’re not afraid to tell her what they really think of her either. But amidst the chaos, there’s one person growing to appreciate the “real” Sadie — Julius, the only boy she’s sworn to hate . . .  

Sadie is a classic overachiever who worries about getting into her dream college, but of course, she keeps all her worries to herself. When her vicious emails are sent out, Sadie and Julius make a scene at a school assembly, and as punishment, the principal gives them a list of tasks they must complete together. Through it all, Sadie realizes that she doesn’t know herself, or Julius, as well as she thought.  

While the plotline of two sworn enemies forced to work together and fall in love isn’t new, I Hope This Doesn’t Find You throws the two competitive overachievers together in a surprisingly fun way. The story is told from Sadie’s point of view, which allows readers to understand all of her frustrations, fears, and insecurities. Sadie is convinced it’s up to her to save her family, but she unfortunately never has an open and honest conversation with them. This is similar to Sadie’s school life; she pretends everything is perfect despite harboring hard feelings. Through it all, Sadie learns to be real with herself and those around her. 

One reason Sadie tries to be perfect is because her parents divorced when she was young, and Sadie blames herself for her parent’s riff. Sadie’s parents never fought, so she was shocked when her father left. Her mom discusses how things aren’t always what they seem. Sadie’s mom says, “I almost wish that we had fought more, that we’d cared enough to challenge each other and bicker over the little things. Better that than just swallowing our resentment and staying quiet until we couldn’t take it anymore.” Not quelling her emotions is one of the major lessons Sadie learns. In addition, Sadie realizes the harmful effects of being a pushover. “What I’m realizing is that if you’re quiet about the things that hurt you, people are only going to mistake your tolerance for permission. And they’re going to hurt you again and again.” 

I Hope This Doesn’t Find You is a feel-good romance that wraps up important lessons with some laugh-out-loud moments. Even though Sadie and Julius aren’t always nice—especially to each other—everyone can relate to their fear of rejection and their unexpected feelings for each other. Ultimately, they both realize that being vulnerable isn’t the same as being weak. And when it comes to love, you have to take risks to win the game. For more swoon-worthy romance, grab a copy of I Believe in A Thing Called Love by Maurene Goo and Maybe This Time by Kasie West.  

Sexual Content  

• A girl shows up at a party with “blue mascara streaked down her cheeks. The word has since spread that she’d been dumped by a girl on her gymnastic team for one of the glamorous equestrians at another school.” 
• During the party, some of the teens play truth or dare. Someone dares Sadie to kiss Julius. Sadie kisses him. “It’s so fast, so light that I only have time to register the startling softness of his lips before I’m reeling back again.”  
• After Sadie kisses Julius, he asks, “You call that a kiss? That was barely anything?” Embarrassed, Sadie wants to “slap that smug look off his face,” so she kisses him again. “I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him to me. This time, when our lips meet, I don’t back away. I deepen the kiss, letting my fingers slide up his neck, curl into his hair. . . Then he kisses me back, presses me closer, and something inside me slides off-balance.” 
• Sadie tells Julius that she kissed a boy at coding class. Afterwards, Julius says, “Why would I be jealous? I would rather die than kiss you again.” Sadie feels shame. She describes, “I lurch forward and do the first thing I can think of: I kick him. Hard, right in the knee. The sound of the impact is even louder than I anticipated. . .” Julius is shocked but not injured. 
• At Sadie’s party, “three couples are making out on the couch in one row, as if they’re in a competition to see who can make the most disturbing sounds or flash the most skin.”  
• One of Sadie’s friends is upset that her sister’s boyfriend is cheating. “Not with one person, but multiple people.”  
• Sadie and Julius are planning where to go for the senior trip. Julius doesn’t want to go to the beach because “the probability of teenagers sneaking into each other’s rooms and hooking up increases by zero-point-four when you put them in a scenic beach setting.” There are several other sexual innuendos in the conversation. 
• Julius’s brother tracks him down by using Julius’s search history. Julius is upset so his brother says, “Calm down, it’s not like you were searching up the closest brothel.” Later, Julius’s brother tells him to “hook up” with Sadie and “get it out of your system in order to focus on what matters.” 
• While on the senior trip, Julius and Sadie meet up in the hallway. As they talk, “he murmurs against my neck. His lips graze my skin, and his other hand slides up, tangles in my hair, his nails lightly scraping my scalp. . .” Sadie gives Julius permission to kiss her, and then “his mouth is on mine in an instant, desperate, urgent. And I cave in. . . My brain is buzzing, but all of my thoughts are floating, nonsensical fragments as he deepens the kiss, wraps a hand around my waist . . .” The kiss is described over a page.  

Violence  

• A student, Danny, comes to school with a black eye. Later, Sadie sees Julius’s knuckles, which are “split open and raw red . . . [his injury] looks more unnatural, more deliberate as if he’d slammed his fist into something hard. Like Danny’s face.” Later, Sadie finds out that Julius punched Danny.  

Drugs and Alcohol  

• Sadie decides to throw a party, but she’s worried no one will come. Her friend says, “There’s no quicker way to bond than over cheap beer and good music.”  
• Sadie’s party has “giant cartons of alcohol lined up along the couches.” At the party, the teens get drunk.”  
• At the party, Julius tells Sadie not to drink a bottle of alcohol. “I uncap the bottle, holding his gaze the whole time in challenge, and take a long, deliberate swig. The liquid burns my mouth, so much stronger than I’d been prepared for. It tastes like fire. Rushes straight to my head. . . My body starts to warm up from within, and my head starts to spin.” Sadie drinks an entire bottle of bourbon and gets drunk. 

Language  

• Profanity is used often. Profanity includes ass, bullshit, crap, damn, hell, piss, and shit. 
• Oh my god, oh god, and god are used as exclamations often. 
• One of Sadie’s classmates writes, “Sadie Wen is a bitch” on the bike shed. 
• When Sadie’s friend is upset about a cheating boy, Sadie says, “You couldn’t have known. It’s an unfortunate feature of douchebags that they’re good at hiding their douchebag tendencies.” 

Supernatural 

• None

Spiritual Content  

• None